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The Oasis Effect – Introducing Dynamic Pricing to Escort Rates

Unless you have been living in a cave, it is likely that you will be aware of the fact that the biggest news in recent days is that a much loved institution from Burnage is back in the game. No, I don't mean that Hayleys has reopened, although just the thought of once again seeing some of the stars from that Manchester massage parlour would be enough to induce a serious case of morning glory in many guys. Rather, the beaking news event in an other quiet news week was that Noel and Liam have kissed and made up, which means Oasis are back in town.

 

If you think going up our stairs is an act of bravery, then you would need mega balls to enter the doors of Hayleys on a Thursday evening.

 

If you're wondering who the fuck Oasis are, they are an indie rock and roll band from the south Manchester suburbs whose two leading lights are a pair of bickering brothers known as Noel and Liam Gallagher. Their height of popularity was in the mid-1990s, when the UK music scene was dominated by Britpop bands, alongside Blur, Suede and Pulp (but not "Take That"). Now some might say that Oasis are rock gods who defined the zeitgeist of the "Cool Britannia" era when Tony Blair came to power, where the mood of the public was soaring just like house prices, and escorts received tips from clients like it was manna from Heaven. Conversely, critics said they were plastic hardmen who, unlike The Beatles or Led Zep, struggled to put a decent tune together, making them stars in the UK and Ireland, but fairly irrelevant to everyone else around the world, as their chart performance shows.

Spot the pillock.

 

Whatever! Who cares. What is clear is that despite their flaws, Oasis retained a large following in this country, even after the brothes called it a day. Just how large remained a mystery until this fortnight, when they announced a comeback tour for 2025 (probably prompted by the need for Noel to get cash for cigarettes & alcohol following a rather costly divorce worth about 30 million quid). The net effect was that when they announced that they were going to hold an initial set of 17 concerts, with 1.4 million tickets on sale, there was a mad scramble for fans to attend. At the start, tickets started from a "reasonable" £73 up to £205 for the more choice spots, with the posh packages going for a very tasty £500. All in all, already a nice earner for the Gallaghers, with projected sales of over £400 million being likely.

 

However, what happened on the actual day the tickets were placed on sale is where things get interesting. While early buyers managed to get tickets at face value, others still waiting in the online queue suddenly found that the tickets which they thought would cost a low fee were now listed as being "in demand", with a knock-on effect in prices. This is since the lovely guys at Ticketmaster, inspired by the likes of Ryanair during the summer holidays, decided to pull a fast one on fans by applying a system of "dynamic pricing" to further sales. In effect, tickets yet to be sold ended up as more than double in price, with buyers having less than 2 minutes to choose before being forced from the queue. In effect, Ticketmaster acted just like the scalpers and touts they claim not to be, with the biggest winners, alongside Ticketmaster, being the Gallaghers, as higher prices mean lots more money for them. Although the government announced plans to look into this, and consumer watchdogs demanded a refund of the excess, the younger Gallagher was his usual diplomatic self on this matter.

When you tell a client to stop crying your heart out.

 

So, what does this have to do with escorts? Well, if the Gallaghers can get away with such a tactic, maybe, just maybe, the same thing can happen in the escorting world. While guys often have a preconceived notion that hookers are just sitting around all day dressed to the nines waiting for their dusty phones to ring, the reality is far from that, as ladies often have other commitments in life, be they work or personal. Consequently, their time for bookings is limited, especially since "Available Today" does not equal "Available Right Now".

 

Thus, if an escort does find herself having multiple enquiries for an appointment at exactly the same time, why not introduce a system of dynamic pricing fo escorts, whereby clients end up bidding increased values for a prime booking slot (such as lunchtime or just after office hous)? Better yet, why not have the situation where, in mid-booking, an escort suddenly jacks up the prices of extras - one minute you're banging away at a hottie, eyeing her bum from behind, contemplating paying 40 quid for anal, only to have her smile back at you and say "is extra 80 now bby". Do you let yourself go without at that moment of lust, ruining the magic of the moment, or do you, as a first rate horndog, take a chance and plunge in nonetheless, forking out the premium? Tough choice, innit!